Another end to another long week and we had just finished packing our gear into the van all looking forward to getting home again, it can be quite a strain being on the road all the time, but the good times make up for it all. Phil decided that he was going to drive home from London, it’s about a 4 hour trip and good roads all the way so should have been quite pleasant. Note the word “should” in that last sentence!

Off we went while discussing our sexual achievements of the week, there’s never a dull moment! As time gets on and the clock hits about 2am one-by-one the lads jump into their bunks to get some sleep. I stayed up and sat with Phil at the front to keep him company while driving. A bit further down the road I asked if he’d like me to take over, he just frowned, said he was okay and suggested I get some sleep. Fair enough I thought, so I jumped into my bunk and realised just how tired I was, in moments I was fast asleep.

When you sleep in our van on the move you always hear various noises – even when you’re out cold – but for the most part you get used to it, after a while it even becomes comforting. However, you always recognise a new sound, something out of the ordinary, something that doesn’t seem quite normal, well I do anyway. I suppose I worry about nothing most of the time…

We were all nice and warm in our bunks when suddenly there was one almighty crashing noise followed by metal grinding, then came an impact that slowed the van down so quickly I was thrown forward out of my bed and through the bulkhead near my feet (my feet point forwards towards the driver). I woke up not knowing what the hell was going on, I was so petrified all I could do was scream and shout, picture it, a 6’2″, 16 stone guy hurtling forward in a van screaming like a maiden in distress! Not only was I screaming like a bitch but I continued to do so until the van came to a complete halt, at which point all I could see was white! I honestly thought I had died, why else would I be surrounded in white?

A few moments later I started to clamber out of the van while calling out to everyone; “Is there anyone there? Hello! Hello!”. I repeated the same thing again and again. I eventually managed to get to the van door and fall out in a heap on the floor. Looking up I saw all the lads already out standing right in-front of me looking down. They could not believe there eyes, they had found their way out just fine, and there I was screaming and shouting on my own, in the van. I can only put it down to being half asleep when it all happened. I got to my feet with the rest of the boys laughing at the way I’d handled the situation, what a fool I looked. The white smoke had been kicked up from the gravel as the van rubbed along the central reservation and dug in, and there I was thinking it was heaven!

As you have probably worked out Phil had fallen asleep at the wheel and collided with the motorway central reservation, the moral this story is to either take a break or don’t let somebody drive that suffers from Narcolepsy! Come to think of it who the hell would think to ask that question when taking on a new driver?